i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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