Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
