Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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