Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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