I looked at my own cervix.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
