goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Randomize
