is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
