Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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