Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
