just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
