You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
