She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
