I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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