Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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