That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
