The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
