i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
