thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
