I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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