I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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