Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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