nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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