Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
