What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
