We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
