and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We are all done wearing pants today
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize