That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
