You smell like a Billy Joel song
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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