The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
