is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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