I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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