If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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