They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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