She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
