i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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