I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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