Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
