Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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