i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize