I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
