I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
