there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
