just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
