The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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