Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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