my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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