I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
