how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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