I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
