How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
