well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
