nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
