you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize