uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
