2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
