she woke up with a sticky ear
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
