he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
