just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize