that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
