9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
