We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
