went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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