i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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