He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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